Been a while…

A lots been happening lately.  Wife says I should write, so I am writing.  Wife…  -sigh-

The wife offered me spousal support in March.  Odd.  all the times we’ve fought, and she’s talked divorce, she suggested she’d fight tooth and nail to put me under an overpass or down to the river bottom.  Suddenly, when we aren’t fighting, she offers spousal support.

Something is up.  I start watching her.  she’s on her phone all the time, but it gets worse.  She is on the phone during her favorite TV shows.  She is on the phone while we are at dinner.  She is on the phone in the bathroom.  It’s pathological.

She’s really stressed out.  She’s high strung anyway, but this is worse.  There is absolutely something up.  Is it work?  Is it me?  No, it’s her.  It’s something she won’t talk about, something I am not supposed to know about.

Who is this guy? I know it’s a guy.  Maybe a doctor or something from work, maybe one of the gym rats from The Camp, where we have been going to lose weight.  She has a nursing conference in May.  We are planning to go there.  She asks me “you don’t -really- want to go to Washington, right?  It will be boring.  There’s nothing to do there.  It would be way cheaper to leave you and Steph at home and I just go myself.”

Aha!  Either this guy lives in Washington, or he’s going to meet her there.  Well, honestly, with all that’s been going on, good for her.  She was basically asexual for a long time, supposedly due to her hormones, but mostly, I think, because she always withheld sex as a method of punishment.  Now she was horny all the time, but I was having issues.  They say if you don’t use it, you lose it.  Well, I lost it a while ago.  I had planned to go get tested, see if it was low testosterone or something.  Too late now.

But maybe a fling was what she needed.  Maybe she was just so tightly wound that the pressure needed some release, and this would be it.  I had done it to her 12 years ago (yes, I am a bastard, admittedly so).  Maybe she just needed some young stud to help her out, and that would be it.  So, when it came up in conversation, I dropped the bomb.  “You just need to get laid.  Maybe you should do that.”

She couldn’t believe it.  I was actually, seriously suggesting she go out and get laid.  “You would be okay with that?”

“I just want you to be happy, and you aren’t, so yeah, if that would make you happy, go for it.  I’ll be here when you are done.”  I should have known…

So, three days later, this guy, 16 years younger than me, is apparently “in love” with my wife of 21 years.  He wants to move here from Washington (yes, she was going up to see him; no, there really is a conference, and she was booked there before she made these plans).  She isn’t sure what she wants, but she knows it isn’t me.

21 years.

swoosh…  That’s the sound of the flusher.

I’m rudderless, sleepless, and hopeless.

If it had just been a fling, I could have handled it and moved on.  If you aren’t using it, don’t cry when someone else is.  You can dance with whoever you want to as long as you are coming home with me.

But no.  This “could be something.”  Yeah?  Maybe something that lasts for 2 decades? This guy will be with you into your 60s? Good luck.

I’m swinging all over the stages of grief, going from denial to bargaining to anger to crying, sometimes within minutes.  I’ve slept about 8 hours in the last three nights.  Last night was only 2 of those.  This is my whole life, falling down the whole I dug 12 years ago.

I can’t even blame her.  I set this up.  I’m not even supposed to know, but because I am really good at reading people…  I’m fucked.

Yay me.

Hold ’em tight and tell them you love them while you can, because by God, if you don’t, someone else will.


White Privilege, and why not All Lives seem to Matter…

You wouldn’t know it to look at me, but my mother’s family is part black. My Irish-descended father lightened me up quite a bit. My uncle on my mother’s side, however, had no such lightening. When he tans, he gets dark. A deep, chocolate brown dark. Combined with his Sicilian heritage, which gives him very tight, curly hair, he has passed for African American many times. One of his dates was surprised to meet my mother. “Oh, you’re sister is white?” “Yes… Wait, you know I’m white, right?” “No… You aren’t white…” It was an awkward conversation. It didn’t help that my uncle had a rather large Afro going at the time.
So, around the early 1980, while Reagan was in office in his first term, my uncle buzzed off his Afro. In the 1970s, during the disco era, it wasn’t a problem for him. However, things took an ugly turn for him in the ’80s. He started getting pulled over… A lot. Police had a different attitude with him. He got manhandled more than once. They questioned his ID, as they’d never heard of no “n****r” named Zaninno. It hit him pretty hard.
He got the message. You don’t want to look black in America. It goes poorly for you. He had to cut his hair, it was too dangerous not to. He lost a lot of friends over it. He said they were angry because he could just cut his hair, and use sunblock, and he was safe. They had to live with that danger every day.
So don’t tell me that White Privilege doesn’t exist.
Don’t tell me that American blacks aren’t treated differently because of their skin.
And until this changes, don’t tell me that “All Lives Matter,” because obviously, some matter less than others.

City of San Jacinto, and their complete waste of taxpayer funds.

I live in the City of San Jacinto, CA.  The city here is basically broke.  They wanted more tax revenue, so they threatened the people of the city with less fire and police protection, and closing of parks, to get us to vote to give them more money.  This tactic failed, and they indeed cut funding for police, cut fire service, and closed parks.  Assholes.

Now they are opposing AB 718, which would decriminalize sleeping in your car.  They really hate poor people around here.  A form letter from the League of California Cities (henceforth known as the Asshole League), designed to show opposition to the bill, was shared on a website that my wife accesses.  My wife filled out the Asshole League’s form letter, and, as instructed by the Asshole League, changed the contents to reflect her concerns.  Instead of showing opposition, she showed support.  The form letter is here:

The Asshole League automatically adds the logo from the city, and the form letter reads “On behalf of the ‘CITY OF CITY’, I write to inform…”  The writer, in this case, my wife, is instructed by the Asshole League to fill in the name of the city.  She did so.  She also changed the text, as instructed.  Now, we are receiving Cease-and-Desist letters from the City of San Jacinto.  They can’t afford to keep the parks open, or pay for police and fire, but they can afford to have their attorney waste time and effort on this crap?

Included here for your perusal is the original letter, with data redacted that identifies my wife and I:

Michael J. Maurer
(213) 787-2557
File No. 24438.00000

May 21, 2015
Ms. D***** M*****
[sent via e-mail to of ************]

Re: Demand to Cease and Desist Use of City of San Jacinto Logo and Misrepresentations Related to the City of San Jacinto
Dear Ms. M*****:
The law firm of Best Best & Krieger serves as the City Attorney for the City of San Jacinto (“City”). In such capacity, we have been authorized and directed to contact you regarding your use of the City of San Jacinto logo and your misrepresentations related to the City of San Jacinto. The City’s seal, insignia, name and logo constitute trademarks. (Lanham Act § 45; 15 U.S.C. § 1127.) City’s trademark rights are exclusive and prevent others from invoking City’s name and goodwill. In your May 14, 2015 letter addressed to Assembly Member Kansen Chu, you improperly, and without the City’s permission, utilized the following City logo:

This action constitutes unlawful trademark infringement, copyright infringement and otherwise violates the law. The City will vigilantly protect the goodwill associated with its valuable intellectual property by taking appropriate actions against its unauthorized used. Therefore, the City demands that you CEASE AND DESIST use of the City’s logo, name or identifying makers.
Your letter to Assembly Member Chu also states that you write “On behalf of the City of San Jacinto.” You are not authorized to speak on behalf of the City of San Jacinto. In fact, the City Council has taken action to oppose AB 718, and your letter is therefore a patent misrepresentation of the City’s official position. Therefore, the City further demands that you CEASE AND DESIST from misrepresenting that you are authorized to speak on behalf of the City.
Although we hope that there will be no need for formal action, the City is prepared to take all appropriate legal action to protect the City’s rights in the event that you do not comply with this demand. If the City is forced to file a lawsuit, the City will seek recovery of all damages, costs, expenses, and attorneys’ fees to the fullest extent permitted by law.
This letter is not a complete statement of the rights of the City in connection with this matter, or of the City’s claims against you, and nothing contained herein is intended as, nor should be construed as, an express or implied waiver of any rights, remedies, or defenses of the City in connection with this matter, all of which are expressly reserved.
Michael J. Maurer, Deputy City Attorney
Cc: Tim Hults, City Manager
Jeff Ballinger, City Attorney

What a waste of taxpayer funds.  Someone should let this guy know just what a BS thing it is to go after a taxpaying citizen just because they disagree with the city’s attempt to criminalize homelessness.

Penney’s lack of customer service.

Just spent over an hour on the phone with JC Penney’s furniture department.  They sold me a living room set.  Took six hours to get the order through, because they can’t split payment,and wanted two delivery charges if I ordered the items separately.  Pain in the ass.  My “Top Grain Leather” sofa, love seat, and chairs cost me over $5000.00  Delivery was $125.00 for two sets.

Penneys took down the collection (, so here’s the stuff from a third party.  Note, this is the description straight from Penneys, just hosted on another site:

Flash forward to the delivery day.  We receive the furniture, with no paperwork.  Weird.  While moving the couches, my wife finds some paperwork underneath.  Straight from that paperwork:  “Rich blended leather:  57.5% polyester/32,5% natural processed leather/10% polyurethane composition.”  Wait, what about the “top grain leather”?

So, e-mail from Penneys:

“We understand and appreciate your concern regarding your furniture order. The furniture leather content is 100% top grain leather with splits. If you would like to further discuss your order and the web site description or material included with your furniture please call 1-800-442-7902 to speak with a specialist.”

Notice, in their own e-mail, they say it again:  “top grain leather.”

So, I called the number.  After an hour and a half, talking to three different people who insisted that they either didn’t have a supervisor, or that they were a supervisor, I got a supervisor.  Her reply?  We’ll refund you the purchase price, but charge you the delivery and the restocking fee of $125 per order, for a total of $500.

WTF?!?!?  $500 because YOU LIED to me?  The advertising said leather, not blended leather, the e-mail said top grain with splits, not blended leather.  I was told that ALL the furniture was blended leather, so I looked around on their site.

So, what’s this:

“Signature 108″ Leather Sofa
Our Signature sofa collection is upholstered in chocolate leather that’s tanned in Europe. Layers of hot wax are applied to the leather to create the soft, worn-in look and feel that sets this collection apart.
solid wood frame with wood block feet
removable seat cushions, back cushions and feet
Upholstery is 100% top-grain leather. Spot clean with a dry cloth; avoid direct heat and sunlight.
Measures 108x41x35″H with 17″H seat. Imported.”

So, after another half hour, they decided to refund my delivery charge, and pick up the crap with no restocking charge.  Still no compensation for my 8.5 hours spent dealing with the people on the phone.  Still no compensation for their LIES.  I have been purchasing things from Penneys since 1985 (when I turned 18).  I will never do so again.

Not mine, but important: What the f–k is with these anti-vax people?

This was written by an RN that I know, and I felt it was important enough to share:

As a RN I was haunted (yes-haunted, anti-intellectualism in nursing is deeply troubling to me) “Nurses against Mandatory vaccines.” I went to the Facebook page and what I found was far worse than nurses who don’t want to be told what to do. There is dangerous propaganda on that page and I believe it violates the “Nursing Code of Ethics.”
There is dangerous propaganda on that page and I believe it violates the Code of Ethics for Nurses, specifically:
Provision 2.
The nurse’s primary commitment is to the patient, whether an individual, family, group, or community
Provision 3
The nurse promotes, advocates for, and strives to protect the health, safety, and rights of the patient.

I messaged her the Code of Ethics for Nurses with Interpretive Statements. She banned me.

The woman behind this group has a blog that was linked to on her Facebook page. I scanned her diatribe wherein she touted her educational credentials and bragged about her “doctoral research.” This is her LinkedIn profile, which sums up the state of nursing education in this country. As a RN I do not know if I can go after this woman even though what she is doing is a violation of professional standards. It is a small world, and I need a job.“amie”-kenyon-msn-rn/3b/851/43b

I see that Amelia “Amie” Kenyon has not been a nurse for very long, but that she has advanced in her “education” quite rapidly:
Kaplan University
Post MSN AGNP, Adult Geriatric Nurse Practitioner
2014 – 2015 (expected)
Western Governors University
MSN- Masters of Science in Nursing, Nursing Practice, Graduate Level
2012 – 2012
Western Governors University
BSN, Nursing
2011 – 2011
Excelsior College
Associates Science in Nursing, Nursing
2009 – 2010
I wonder, how many years of experience does she have working on the floor as a nurse in an acute care setting? What was her specialty? Did she ever see patients on oscillating vents or nitrous due to influenza? Just curious.
I noticed that she was a LPN (license # 4703103254) before she became a RN (License # 4704282245). I was wondering what she did while taking all those online classes, before becoming an entrepreneur, selling T shirts.
I applaud her desire to rise above her proletariat roots but must she damage an entire profession in the process?

Government waste and Raul Ruiz

So, I received this mailer from congressman Raul Ruiz, M.D. Full color cardstock, double-sided, very heavy, labeled “Cutting Waste and Perks.” It is also labeled “this mailing was prepared, published and mailed at taxpayer expense.” So much for cutting waste. There were two tweets’ worth of info on this thing. I would much rather have gotten a letter, a regular damned letter, on typing paper, detailing what Ruiz has done during the session to cut waste. Instead, I get waste. My landfill gets waste. And I get charged, for WASTE! I am posting this crap everywhere…

Hobby Lobby and the Supreme Court…

Well, the Supreme Court ruled on the Hobby Lobby case, and the assholes are out of the woodwork all over the place.

Some assholes say it was a victory for religious freedom. This was never a case of “religious freedom.” Hobby Lobby is a business, pure and simple, designed to make a profit. This is not a person, it is a fictional entity, one with no soul, no belief in God, and no religion. If it can share the owner’s religious beliefs, then the owners should share its liabilities and debts. Oh, wait, that’s why one forms a corporation in the first place. To place a separation between their person and their business. Hypocrisy at its best.

Some assholes say it is a victory for the First Amendment. The Supreme Court has just ruled that a business can ignore a law if it violates the religious beliefs of the owners. This would be a “law respecting an establishment of religion.” You know, the kind prohibited in the First Amendment?

Some assholes say this is a blow against the “abortion mandate” or the “abortion culture.” The CONTRACEPTION mandate was never about “abortion,” it was never about “abortion pills,” and it was never about religion. It was about allowing the person affected by their own choices to make those choices with their doctor. Now, an employer gets to make those decisions, with no regard for the health or welfare of the employee.

Some assholes are saying that this is a “victory against Obama.” Oh, was that what this was about? So, it was never about religious freedom in the first place? Then you are lying hypocrites. Enjoy your special level of hell.

Some assholes are saying it’s about money. Hobby Lobby was paying for contraception -before- the ACA. They only dropped the coverage when they decided to sue. They won’t be raising anyone’s pay now that they don’t give contraception coverage in their insurance. This is a red herring issue, one that only assholes try to push.

Some assholes say it’s about privacy. They claim that making employers provide health coverage that includes contraception “puts employers in the bedroom” of the employees. Really? The employer has no idea which employees are even receiving contraception. That is between the insurance company and the billing doctor/pharmacy. Another steaming pile of pure bullshit.

Some assholes say that one shouldn’t have to leave their religion behind to run a company. I agree, they should not. However, unless what you are running is a non-profit, the COMPANY has no religion. This guy at Hobby Lobby says it is against his religion to pay for contraceptives. What happens when he decides it is against his religion to hire women? When he says it is against his religion to pay a minimum wage? Against his religion to allow people of color into his stores? Against his religion to pay taxes on his profits because he doesn’t agree with where the government spends his money? What makes THIS asshole special? Oh, yeah, he has money.

I hope this asshole remembers Matthew 19:24, Mark 10:25, and Luke 18:25. He’s surely forgotten Romans 13:1…